Hello.

In this blog post- I will say stuff that has happened with me between December 2009 and January 2010. Hopefully it will be amusing and entertaining. I am writing this - because - to be honest - I can’t think of anything else to write about - and I want to heal myself with these words (this should be a two way thing).

I went to one of my Grandma’s from University in Manchester for Christmas. It was very cold - but thankfully the lounge fire helped. She had a cat - who caught a mouse - and decapitated it and ate the head and legs - and didn’t bother eating the rest of the body. I had a really relaxing time - spending time reading, cooking, putting up Christmas decorations, eating, sleeping. I decided to initiate myself as a Pagan Witch beneath one of her garden trees. It didn’t go perfectly (the weather was bitterly cold, my torch stopped working part way through, I felt vunerable with closed eyes in the dark), but at least I managed to do it. I’d been researching it for months in advance! I played cards with my Grandma and a couple of her friends - it was great fun! And now I intend to play cards lots with people at University.

People then arrived at my Grandma’s - and I struggled to cope (I find it hard living with lots of people in that sort of context). The television went on in the day time, and there was a bombardment of technology. I find it hard to cope with the modern world and modern life. To add to this - I managed to catch a cold and get a torturous headache (I was ill on Christmas and on Boxing Day). I am still a bit ill now (I still have a cold - but thankfully it’s not too bad). Some funny and fun things did thankfully happen! We made homemade Christmas crackers because we didn’t have any bought ones (and - frankly - I think ours were way more fun than bought ones!) It was a bit of a guessing game as to what one would recieve in their cracker). Things were nuts, raisins or sultanas (I can’t remember which), bits of ginger wrapped up in silver foil, fish shapes with amusing things written on them, jokes, crowns, chewy sweets. We put fish shapes into water (we couldn’t let the fish drown - now - could we!) We  wrote a mock Queen’s speech, and my Colombian aunt performed it live on camera - it was hilarious!

I went for a walk on Christmas Day - because I couldn’t cope with people at the time (I get like that sometimes). I saw such beauty on the walk. The sun made the snow glisten like diamonds, and trees looked beautifully intricate with the shapes made by the entirety of their branches. I cried in front of one tree (I’m so happy that I did this) - it’s nice to think that nature could bring me to tears.

I arrived back at my parents’ house on the 27th December - I really wanted to go back. I spent time there - sorting stuff out - including acquiring items I needed in order to establish myself an altar that I can practice Pagan Witchcraft at. I also managed to buy some football clothing so that I can play 5-a-side at University with people. And I managed to buy some 1970s clothing - a pair of trousers, a flowery shirt, a shirt with polka dots, and a frilly shirt.

At New Year - we had friends round. We made card towers with playing cards after I began building a card structure. Also - I managed to have enough confidence to wear what I wanted - pink trousers, a colourful top, make-up, and nail varnish in front of people (I would just like to add that I am male - so that should give context to the ‘confidence’ part).

I am due to go to my other Grandparents’ house earlier today - before returning to University in Manchester soon after that. I hope that my New Year will involve the changes I want it to. Below are the New Year’s Resolutions I have made for myself:

* Practice my religion.

* Research my religion.

* Really FEEL (I know what this means).

* Go for lots of walks.

* Play in the 5-a-side football team.

* Eat seasonal fruit and vegetables.

* Be my true self.

* Read a lot.

* Be more sociable.

* Be more confident.

* Wear what I want to wear.

* Try very hard in the rest of my first year of University - and in the second year, too - which will have some of it fall in 2010.

* Sleep and awake at reasonable times.

* Think optimistically.

* Go to the Philosophy club at University.

* Remember that I’m not that intelligent - and don’t act in a way which over-exaggerates my intelligence - or implies that I’m over-exaggerating my intelligence.

* Speak in a posh accent.

* Don’t be pretentious.

* Eat at least 5 fruit and/or vegetable portions a day.

* Wear womens clothing.

* Play open mics.

* Cry in public if I feel like crying at the time.

* Spend more time in the University Library.

* Hug trees.

* Don’t worry.

* Smile and laugh.

* Tell my mother about wanting to dress in womens clothing - and the fact that I might be bisexual (to be honest - I don’t think she’ll be surprised).

I managed to write up lyrics from some of my dreaming - I need to add music to them in order to turn them into songs.

Why is it that when I got older - I realised what life is really like for many people? It’s so disappointing.

I really want to go and live in a commune and not have to work for anyone - except for myself and those in the commune with me. I want to live closer to nature and be self-sufficient. I want to not have to deal with all the technology and the confusion and the speed and the excess of material items which are apparent in modern life. I want to cook up gorgeous tasting recipes using stuff I’ve grown. I want to not have to see money any more.

Happy New Year 2010!

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

This entry was posted on Monday, January 4th, 2010 at 1:11 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.