I apologise for not blogging for so long, I have been very busy with University and have been ill a fair few times.

So a little bit of background info about me first, I am very conscious about my weight and have been for a fair few years now. When I was about 14 I decided I was going to lose weight after being bullied for being fat, now looking back I wasn’t morbidly obese, I was just a bit on the chubby side. I went to weight watchers and lost around 1 and a half to 2 stones. I maintained a healthy weight of about 9 and a half stone for until I was a round 16 - 17.

I was then tested for intolerances and ended up cutting out dairy products for 18 months, and being vegetarian that made me vegan. I was eating more carbs to keep me from being hungry and keep me healthy, I didn’t put on that much weight I don’t think I went that much above 10 stone, so I was still at a healthy weight. I did introduce dairy back into my diet as it was just too hard to stay vegan, again I don’t think I put on that much, I remember being pretty happy with my weight and appearance. From about 16 - 18 I don’t think I was ever more than 10 and a half stone, and for my height which is 5ft4 and a bit, that is healthy.

When I was 18 I was diagnosed with glandular fever and lost weight as I couldn’t eat or do much, I was pretty much bed ridden. Although I was really ill I was pretty happy about my figure, I needed to tone up a little in places but I was mainly a size 10 all over. After that, which is nearly 2 years ago (I can’t believe the time has gone so fast) I had a massive outbreak of eczema due to an allergic reaction, which made me really depressed…so I ate and ate and ate and ate some more. At the time I needed to because I was so unhappy with everything else eating was my only vice, I didn’t leave the house for months unless I had to go to the doctors, so I did no exercise either. My eczema is still recovering from that break-out but generally it is better, ok so I’ve deviated a little, for more info on my eczema please read my ‘do you know what is in your make-up’ blog.

So basically I put on a lot of weight from being depressed about my skin, then last year (almost a year ago) I decided to do something about my weight, I’d gone to uni and lived with 4 girls, 2 skinny, one was underweight but isn’t now and the others were all of a healthy weight. So I felt fat in my house but like pringles once you pop you can’t stop, I couldn’t stop eating. I would eat my tea like a big bowl of pasta and then make a cheese sandwich a couple of hours later. It had to stop. Lent was coming up and I decided I wanted to give something up, I didn’t eat that much chocolate so that wasn’t a good idea, pasta i do love pasta but it is a staple in my diet with being a vegetarian and a student - cheap and healthy, so I chose bread. I love bread, I can eat slice after slice of white bread with butter. I then cut down on everything else I was eating and started to weigh my food, 75g of pasta, 50g of rice, 100g of cous-cous because that is less in calories. I substituted crackers for bread, had soup and crackers, not bread, which I recommend, it tastes really nice.

I lost over a stone by cutting down on my portion sizes, mainly my carbs and trying to make healthier choices. I did introduce bread back into my diet as I don’t want to go without eating it ever, but I now buy a small wholemeal loaf and try not to eat it everyday. I still have 75g of pasta and 50g of rice.

The problems I have are, apart from liking food, is I get ill quite easily so I don’t want to go on crash diets and make myself ill, I want a healthy living plan but…here comes the but…there are so many people saying so many different things. My mum told me that she read or saw something I nutritionist said about eating carbs with protein, less carbs more protein, so I did. But is this right?

One of my housemates is doing nutrition at University and she conducted a diet plan on me for her course and found out my protein intake is near the high end and I should cut it down. There is protein in things you forget about, its in milk, cheese, yogurt, eggs, beans, hummus as well as meat and fish and meat supplements , such as quorn and tofu. But I don’t want to decrease my protein and up my carbs because I’ve been told carbs put on weight, mainly by my mother to be honest, but I listen to her, oddly enough I worry about what she thinks about the way I look, I sometimes thinks she thinks I’m fat by things she says like when I say I’m hungry, she says no you’re not, she’s trying to be helpful and help me to lose weight because I want to but all i hear in my head is her saying don’t eat your fat.

We’re told to eat 5 fruit a day and being a vegetarian I normally hit that, I was drinking cranberry juice, orange juice and apple juice, none of which I would consider unhealthy but when my housemate did the diet plan for me looking at what I ate, the juices sky rocketed my calorie intake to above the recommended daily dose of 2000.

Taking into account what she said I have cut the juices, only having them ocassionally and sticking to tea, coffee, water and squash, I’ve never been a big fan of fizzy drinks so I’m ok there. I’m trying to watch my protein intake and not have cheese, eggs, milk and baked beans all in one day.

We’re told to exercise, most weeks I go to the gym on a monday for an hour, trampolining on a tuesday for an hour - I usually get half an hours bounce in total, I do a pilates class on a wednesday and then I do some other form of exercise ie I go on my nintendo wii - I have a fitness game, or I go for a walk or I go swimming. So in total thats exercise four times a week.

I was home a couple of weeks ago and was a bit naughty and ate a bit more than I should because I was at home and saw my family, friends and boyfriend and they say when you’re happy you eat more and I think its true. I love to go out for meals with my boyfriend. Sometimes I think why do I bother trying to eat well if I’m not losing weight?

I have blips, I’m not perfect and I don’t want to restrict myself at the time, I would like to be able to eat chocolate and cake and pizza and curry every so often. I have been depressed recently and have eaten a little more than I should have in places..ironically I was sometimes depressed about my weight and one day would eat super healthy, having the willpower to say no to marsbar cake at my friends and then two days later not be able to resist a chocolate muffin. I don’t buy biscuits or cakes or chocolate when I go shopping because I will just sit there and eat them. If I do ever buy anything dessert like it is weight watchers or tesco light choices

But guess what I am still not losing weight and it is frustrating, I can’t seem to shift the pounds. If I could afford it I’d go back to weight watchers again but I can’t, I’m a student. I calorie count and most days don’t go over 2000, i average between 1300 - 1700. Today I have eaten a bowl of bran flakes and half a carton of tomato and basil Convent Garden Soup with some crackers and thats pretty average for what I eat most days for breakfast and lunch.

I was just wondering if anyone else was confused about all these different people telling you different ways to lose weight? Or am I just being hard on myself?

Tags: diet, food, health, weight

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010 at 2:57 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.